If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
