Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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