then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she smelled like a LAN party
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
