I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
