yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
