Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
