I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
