yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
