And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
