I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
