I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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