went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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