Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
