How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
His nipple licking is glorious
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
