ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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