You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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