We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
