I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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