Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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