I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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