Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize