I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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