The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just blew my weed a kiss
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
