My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
