shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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