Don't make out with my wife yet
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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