It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
