Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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