it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he high fived his dick after we had sex
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
