haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Randomize
