i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
