pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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