maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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