There is no way he is gay with that hair.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
