Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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