turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
