Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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