the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
