Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
