dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
