Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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