$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
