she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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