wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize