Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
