I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I AM VODKA MAN
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
