Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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