I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I pour the whiskey from now on
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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