i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
