He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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