Soap is not a condiment
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
