I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
