He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Holy shit dude........stairs
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
