sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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