I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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