I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
