so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
