What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
