Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We are all done wearing pants today
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
