Your tits are I can't wait for
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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