You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It's like God shit irony all over that family
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
