The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
