he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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